Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
