i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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