i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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