I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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