PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
