if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
