Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
