The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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