I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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