Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
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I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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