My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
