I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
