Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
