I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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