new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
