Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
