is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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