So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
