where am i from again
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
