i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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