$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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