I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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