i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
