I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
