Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
