forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
