either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
