So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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