hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
