Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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