hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
