thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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