Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
