got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
