david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
