thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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