Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
