I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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