She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
