i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
