Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
