My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
