i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
