When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
