i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
