Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
