Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
