Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
