i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
