Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
