Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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