So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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