also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just pynch a tree in the face
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
