I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
