Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
